Oilers Spice Up Roster with Corey Perry Signing

Oh boy, the Edmonton Oilers are totally spicing things up! They’ve gone and snagged themselves a real piece of work in the form of veteran winger Corey Perry, slapping a one-year deal on the table, laced with some juicy performance bonuses, aligning it with the league’s bottom-dollar salary. That’s what the hockey grapevine, aka ESPN’s Emily Kaplan, is buzzing about.

This whole shindig comes after the Chicago Blackhawks gave Perry the boot with nothing but a “see ya” and not a single farewell cake. They axed his $four million deal back on November 30th, amidst some hush-hush “inappropriate conduct” shenanigans. Ouch.

Don’t think Perry’s been twiddling his thumbs though! The 38-years-young firecracker cracked open a cold one with league bigwig Gary Bettman earlier in the month, but no, he wasn’t on the official naughty list.

Before his unscheduled sabbatical, Perry was popping off with a decent nine points in 16 games. Not half bad for an old-timer, right? But, hark, he’s been lurking in the shadows since November 19th.

Now, let’s have a hot take from Twitter’s own JFresh, who basically says, “Sure, Perry skates like a snail wading through peanut butter, but dang if he isn’t crafty with the puck and a certified pest in front of the net.” That’s the spirit we like to hear!

Perry’s got a closet full of playoff jerseys; seriously, dude’s a walking historical exhibit with a shiny 2007 Stanley Cup ring from his Anaheim Ducks days. Plus, he’s been knocking on Lord Stanley’s door three times in a row from 2020 to 2022, but nope, no cigar – thanks to his tours with the Dallas Stars, Montreal Canadiens, and Tampa Bay Lightning.

This sly fox will slide into the Oilers’ bottom six, stirring the pot and ditching out headaches to the other team – a true Triple Gold Club artist in the dark arts of hockey.

And what a time to come aboard! The Oilers are on a heater with a Canadian-record of thirteen straight W’s, and they’re ready to roll against the Columbus Blue Jackets this Tuesday. Buckle up, Oilers fans, this is going to be one wild ride.

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