NHL Drama Roundup: Trades, Signings, and Upheaval

Okay, buckle up, kiddos, because the NHL’s been more dramatic than my last family reunion—and trust me, that’s saying something. Here’s the scoop on the chaos, chirps, and check-ins from around the league. Let’s dive in headfirst like a rookie chasing his first goal, shall we?

Now, let’s talk about the Ottawa Senators pulling a classic “one step forward, one step back” move. They finally lock down Shane Pinto with a one-year contract for a cool $775K (talk about bargain shopping), after the dude missed half the season due to a little gambling no-no according to the head honchos of the NHL. Guess they’re giving Pinto another chance to drop the dice and pick up his game, but next summer, he’ll be back on the “please sign me” list, no cushy arbitration rights to save him.

On the flip side, the Sens might be waving goodbye to their defenseman Jakob Chychrun, who wasn’t quite the knight in shining armor they hoped for their leaky back end. Despite Ottawa tripping over their own skates this season, Chychrun’s been lighting the lamp like it’s his job—well, it is his job, but you get the point. With a $4.6MM cap hit and just one more year left on his contract, the dude could fetch a pretty penny on the trade market, so stay tuned.

Now let’s drop into goalie gossip—Elvis Merzlikins from the Blue Jackets has thrown his catcher mitt down in frustration. His playing time’s been more unpredictable than spring weather, even though his save percentage got a nifty bump from “meh” to “respectable”. With Daniil Tarasov hogging the net and Spencer Martin saying adios to Columbus, Elvis is singing the blues and has straight-up asked for a new stage. But with three more years at $5.4MM per annum, don’t hold your breath, Elvis. Maybe try a more chill tune?

Over in coaching corner, the Islanders got all dramatic, giving Lane Lambert his marching orders. Sure, the guy had a decent-ish run of 61-46-20, but let’s be honest, first-round playoff exits don’t get you a statue. In swoops Patrick Roy, back from his coaching exile like some sort of hockey messiah—or has-been, depending on who you ask. It’s worth grabbing popcorn to see if he can get the Isles to play nice or if he’ll bail again without a say in the shopping list for players.

Let’s chat signings: the Blackhawks have Jason Dickinson cuddled up for two more years with an $8.5MM security blanket after he suddenly remembered how to score. Then there’s Aliaksei Protas of the Capitals, with a giant 6’6 frame and a five-year, $16.875MM deal that says “we think you’re cool”—even if his stat sheet’s still a bit on the light side. Here’s to betting on potential, because that never backfires, right?

Lastly, dealing with the heavy stuff: Valeri Nichushkin from the Avalanche peaced out to handle his personal biz with the Player Assistance Program. The guy hit the ice like a boss this season, but hey, real life checks harder than any defenseman, so we’re sending good vibes his way. The Flames’ Dillon Dube also hit the reset button for some mental health R&R after a season tally emptier than the cookie jar at a kid’s party.

So there you have it, folks—the latest from the NHL rumor mill, served with a side of sass. Remember, it’s not just about the ice capades; it’s about the human side too. Stay tuned for more puck shenanigans next week!